Not now, but RIGHT NOW

After a very long blogging hiatus, I’m happy to report that I’m back and re-invigorated about drumming!

Seasons have come and gone. Months have flown by. It’s a new year. There was a huge stretch of time where I wasn’t drumming at all outside of my Juice rehearsals and I got stuck in that rut for a while. I’m still trying to find a groove, but things feel more organic right now – when I’m inspired to play, I follow that feeling, even if I only have 10 or 15 minutes to devote to it.

I really wanted to try and get back into a morning routine of 30 minutes of technique building before getting ready for work, but I can’t drag my ass out of bed early in the middle of winter, it’s awful. It’s too damn dark and cold and I always retreat back to the sheets. I’ve felt really bad about that for a long time, which is why my playing and blogging about playing suffered. I’ve finally learned that doing a little every day is better than doing nothing at all.

I’m working on so much right now! I joined a second band (name yet to be determined) where I am the primary drummer and it’s really exciting and a little scary too. The music overall has a minimalist vibe like the White Stripes; we have a guitarist, a singer, and me on the kit. We’ve only met twice in the past two weeks to try out some ideas and we already have the basis for four songs – so promising! Our guitarist, Greg, has a 4-track recorder and it sounds like once we have enough music we’re going to cut a CD. Sarah is such an amazing vocalist too, I can’t wait to hear everything come together and for us to play our first show.

I also recently discovered drum tabs and they have been so helpful. I can read sheet music for the most part, but finding songs that I really want to learn is difficult because of copyright infringement. Drum tabs circumvent this and it’s awesome. The other day I printed two White Stripes songs, “The Hardest Button to Button” and “Seven Nation Army”, and they are so easy! My work with Juice has really taught me how to take on complex time signatures and I’m feeling more confident about my skills even though I have so much to learn (and clean!). Other songs I’m trying include “Connection” by Elastica and “Wipeout” by the Surfaris. The latter is a bit more complicated because I’m still developing independence with my limbs. Speed is also a factor, but I’m confident that I’ll get there.

Juice has been going through some really exciting transitions the past few months too. We’re learning new music and now possess a greater focus for where we’re headed in the future with regards to our sound and image. I’m still not totally satisfied with my role in the group as a performer, which is excellent motivation for me to improve. My goal is play drum set for at least one of our songs, this is especially important to me because it’s the only instrument I know how to play and most of my bandmates are more versatile. I am certainly not a strong enough musician to do that yet, but I will be if I continue to work on my own time at improving.

I picked up “The Everything Drums Book” again and started working on the exercises after it spent months collecting dust in my study. I also got a really cool book called “When the Drummers Were Women” by Layne Redmond and a one year subscription to “Tom Tom: A Magazine About Female Drummers” from my in-laws for Christmas – they are so supportive! Additionally, I bought a used Paiste ride cymbal and high hat stand from work a few months back, so my kit is officially complete (though I may replace that ride with Zildjian soon because I’m not crazy about the sound).

Lastly, I decided to renew my New Year’s resolution from last year to keep learning how to play the drums and I still plan to blog about it, but a transition has definitely taken place. I am officially a musician; that was the original goal of the blog, to become a working drummer in Ann Arbor. The title is still a bit foreign to me, and I hesitate when using it sometimes because I thought I would have had to been more experienced before I attained it, but it’s really happening and I couldn’t be more elated.

I don’t want to work, I want to bang on the drum all day…

Today was the first Thursday that I decided to devote entirely to drumming and I would say that I was approximately 40-45% successful in that endeavor.  I briefly mentioned this is my last post, but I’ll elaborate a bit more in this one.  I want to take this goal of becoming a great drummer more seriously and I think that an excellent way to do that is to make the same commitment that I would to my job.  Every Thursday from 9 AM to 5 PM I want to expand my skills, rehearse numbers and learn new ones, breaking only briefly for lunch, snacks, or a little stretch.  It’s a full day of hitting the skins, reading sheet music, instructional manuals and watching supplemental videos when needed.  I have more than enough to fill the time allotted, I just need to show up to work.

This morning I began later than I would have liked, because of some previous commitments.  If this had been me a year ago – I kid you not – I would have talked myself out of working for the entire day simply because of a missed start time.  At least now I can accept that plans may change and move forward.  I’m making a conscious effort to improve and that’s what counts.

I began by working on my technique, the usual tasks – practicing rolls, paradiddles, whatever.  I really try my hardest not to look at the clock when I’m working, but after 30 minutes I gave in and was quite surprised that I had many more rudiments ahead and the day had hardly begun.  After that the “funk” cycle came into full swing; this, of course, is the part of my rehearsal where I think about how much money I could get if I sold my kit, or how much more free time I would have if I gave up trying to learn drums (to do what I couldn’t tell you).

I know that my biggest obstacle is me.  I’m really developing discipline but I have this nagging negativity I need to shake off.  During a drum technique workshop with Juice a couple of months ago, my bandmate had to tell me to accept where my skillset was because he could see that I was getting upset that I could not complete the exercises.  Hello, my name is Cassandra Monzon and I am a perfectionist who expects immediate results.

There were a couple other notable things that happened during my “independent study” today:

- I attempted to play the beginning of Radiohead’s “Creep” on my kit.  It’s a fairly basic rock song but it calls for the bass drum to be played three notes in succession.  I have very poor drum pedal technique (thank you Rock Band).  I leave the beater against the bass drum in between hits, which is a definite no-no.  I’ve concluded that I will inevitably cause more harm than good if I continue in that vein, so until I improve (which is a ways away) I will stay away from my kit for now.

- Whilst playing said kit, I realized that it is not complete, as I had previously thought.  I purchased a used crash cymbal a few weeks ago, because I was sure that it was the last piece I needed.  I discovered today that I already have a crash! Yes, some drummers use two and this will likely be a good investment down the road, but I still don’t have a ride cymbal.  A RIDE CYMBAL! Oh, the humanity.

- When updating my computer earlier today I deleted Audacity and then realized afterwards that I use that program to record audio for the blog (though it’s honestly been months since the last time I shared something).  Looks like I’ll have to add it again to my laptop so I can include some etudes in the near future.

That’ll do it for my little summary.  I’m not working tomorrow and I’d like to make up for some of the hours I lost today, so you may see another post here sooner rather than later.

Enjoy this jam from the Passions!

PS.  I’ve updated the blog with “Best Albums of 2011“.  There isn’t much listed, since I haven’t really been listening to a lot of new stuff but that section should be bulked up with more soon.

Little Mrs. Blogger returns!

After a lot of careful consideration, I’ve decided to start blogging about my slow and steady progress again – but with the caveat that if my practicing begins to suffer, updates will not be posted. I can see now that when I started this project, blogging regularly became a higher priority than the practicing did, and this time I want to get it right. I will do my best to post once a week.  I will try to aim for more but I can’t offer any guarantees. For those of you who have stuck with me during my hiatus, I thank you.

A LOT has happened in the past two and a half months. A lot of soul-searching was had. A lot of rehearsals with the band occurred. Some stress ensued. Conclusions were reached.

The first major realization was that being that in a band is not enough for me to learn how to play drums. Sure, I’m learning how to read music a great deal faster because of the songs I need to memorize and perform, but in terms of technique, I need to be doing more on my own to advance my skills. For the past two weeks or more (I’ve lost count – a good sign), I’ve been getting up extra early in the morning to work on paradiddles and rolls for a half hour every day. But I know that in addition to that, I would like to learn some songs outside of Juice to really test my music reading skills and playing abilities.

Which leads me to realization number two: 30 minute morning sessions are not enough, unfortunately. I was talking with my neighbour the other day about music and he mentioned that his friends that work as professional musicians practice for 8 hours each day. Obviously, this is totally unrealistic for me. I need to hold down a part-time job, at the very least, so I can contribute to the household. After talking with my husband and gleaning some much-needed perspective I’ve decided that I need to start setting aside one day per week (Thursdays) to devote entirely to drumming for eight whole hours. I will no longer take work shifts on this day, answer telephone calls during the hours of 9 AM to 5 PM, hang out with friends, or otherwise procrastinate. I will focus on basic drills, read and work on the exercises in the Everything Drums Book and start learning the 10 songs I have from the Rock Band sheet music I have in my possession. Not to mention reviewing (and hopefully perfecting) Juice material. My first attempt will be this week. Wish me luck.

But in addition to these goals I have exciting news to share! First of all, after four years of collecting I can say that my drum kit is officially complete. I was finally able to purchase a ride stand and crash cymbal, thanks to birthday donations at the end of July. I’m also really pleased to report that an amazing, and nearly mint-condition Pearl high-hat stand has come into my work and I will be purchasing it to replace my shitty lopsided one. I had originally planned to work with what I had, but I figured if I could score that for less than $50, it was definitely worth it for me to replace it and I’d likely be better off in the long-run.

I’ve also had the great privilege of performing in my first show with Juice. This past week we played at the Elmer Knopf Learning Center in Flint and the kids absolutely loved it. I screwed up in both shows, but I suppose that is to be expected. It’s funny because everyone I mentioned that to told me not to be too concerned. However, when I explained that this was a dance-based number and that my choreography didn’t synch up with the other four dancers, they understood my obvious embarrassment. Nowhere for me to go but up, let’s hope!

More to post this week, stay tuned.

<3 Kasoundra

An update of sorts and goodbye

I guess I had sort of abandoned this blog, as it has been over a month since I last posted. However, I have good reasons for my absence, I swear!

I have been incredibly fortunate to find a local percussion ensemble in Ann Arbor that was willing to take me on as a new member (!), despite my limited music experience. So suffice it to say, I have achieved one of the goals I set out to reach with my New Years resolution: I am playing with a local band, but at the same time learning about percussion from the people I practice with, which is really exciting. They are called Juice, and they perform all over Michigan – elementary schools, festivals, corporate events, you name it. Up until recently they were a group of 9 performers (5 men and 4 women), however 3 ladies are leaving, unfortunately, and I’ve been accepted to replace one of them.

At this time, I’m in the process of learning two performance numbers, though I will be taking on another two compositions in the coming weeks. My first performance with the group will likely occur in the late summer or early fall, which gives me enough time to become comfortable with their repertoire and my abilities, thankfully.

The only thing that I am sad to report is that this will likely be my final blog post on Snare, Girl. With work, weekly rehearsals, and my own practicing, I simply don’t have enough time available for updates. My husband suggested that I continue my to write about my experiences working with and learning from an ensemble, but I just don’t think it’s possible for me at this time, and my schedule is only going to become busier with commitments. I am sad to say goodbye, but I’m excited for all of the opportunities ahead as well.

Before I go though, I will say this cliched piece of wisdom because it’s been true for me. You don’t know unless you try. Juice had posted on Craigslist before about looking for a new member, but I talked myself out of messaging them because I was really impressed by their videos. But when I came across another ad a few weeks back, I told myself, what’s the worst that could happen? They could say no, and then I would be forced to practice until I was good enough for them to say yes. Luckily, they liked what they saw and have been incredibly welcoming and patient with me. I feel like I instantly gained 9 new friends, which is wonderful.

When I first moved to Ann Arbor six months ago, I read a memoir by Nick Kent (a former journalist for NME during the 1970′s) called Apathy for the Devil, and in this book was a quote I will never forget. It said: “Dreaming is never enough. Action and interaction are what count if you really want to lead a life of surprises.” Everyone should heed that call.

Thanks for the support and encouragement!

Another two weeks have come and gone

How awkward. I’m still spinning my wheels in Chapter 7 of the Everything Drums Book and the only explanation I can muster is laziness. I’m sure this makes for a pretty boring post, let alone a pretty inconsistent log of my so-called advancement. But I’m not ready to throw in the towel yet.

My pal Nicole sent me a postcard from London recently and closed with an encouraging note: “Keep drumming lady and playing music everyday!” I haven’t been living up to that. In fact, I’ve been having doubts and I can’t put my finger on why.

I completed Twyla Tharp’s book a little while ago and the last chapter had some good advice that I’ve been meaning to follow about “building a bridge to the next day”. It’s great when we have really productive and prolific days, but the problem is that we can’t predict when we’ll encounter that success again. Tharp suggests quitting while you’re ahead and making a note of where you left off, that way when you return to your work the following day you can delve right in because you have something to inspire you. I’m not sure what to put into my holding tank. My passion to learn wanes each day. While there are many things left to discover, my reach exceeds my grasp. Any suggestions?

There’s another nugget of Tharp wisdom that has me feeling a bit torn about this project. She writes, “failure humbles…it helps you put aside who you aren’t and reminds you who you are” (pg. 213). It’s got me thinking that maybe I’m not a musician after all, though I know I’m interpreting the message to suit my own insecurities at this time.

Maybe I’m just not bored enough. Slate Magazine recently posted an article suggesting that boredom is not something we should avoid; technology keeps us occupied and complacent, whereas being bored challenges us to seek out alternative forms of engagement.

I hope I can find the motivation to continue for the long haul.

Shall I admit defeat already?

Yesterday’s practice went off without a hitch, but today is another story. I set my alarm for 7 AM, and though I have to physically get out of bed to turn it off, I retreated back to the covers for another hour and a half. 7 AM practice is easy when I have to be at work later in the morning. Early wake-up calls on the days where I have a loose schedule? Forget about it.

I may still have the rest of the day ahead of me, and I’m trying to keep a positive outlook, but I can say from experience that I fritter away those hours and then suddenly I’m facing bedtime without so much as a thought to drumming. The longer I wait, the less likely I am to do it. That’s why I established a morning routine, as I’m less productive in the evening hours.

Do remember that website I mentioned a few posts ago about playing the drums using the keys from your computer keyboard? Well I recorded some samples a while ago but just never posted them to share. The first track is just a hi-hat and a snare and it’s at a slower speed. I just played the pattern a few times and looped the rest. The second track is simply the first one sped up. It sounds really minimalistic and techno-y. I love it! In the third and final track I added a snare. I was hoping to do more with them, but those plans fell by the wayside. Piecing things together in Audacity was a little more difficult than I anticipated, but I’m willing to experiment again in the future.

I just realized that it’s the last day of March – where does the time go? I suppose I shouldn’t complain much. Tonight I will be going to a live performance at The Blind Pig featuring J. Mascis and Kurt Vile. I’m so pumped, it’s my first concert in Ann Arbor since I moved here!

Um….hi?

I can’t believe that it’s been over two weeks since I last wrote. I promised myself I would try and keep this page updated at least a couple of times per week, I’m so embarrassed. When you don’t meet your own expectations, it can take a little while to summon up the courage to start again. So, this is me sheepishly returning to this site to offer an update (or lack thereof) concerning my percussion progress.

There was about 10 days in succession where I did not practice at all. I’m learning that starting (in anything it seems) is always the most difficult part. If you can at least manage to take that first step, to show up for work, you’ll become like a needle in the groove and the rest takes care of itself. I’ve been trying to establish a two-part ritual these past few weeks: 1) to wake up every morning at 7 AM and 2) to practice for about an hour beginning at that time. Not surprisingly, I’ve lacked the discipline and I think it goes without saying that I need to commit to the task if I want to move forward. What I can report however, is that the handful of times I managed to follow this pattern I’ve felt great; the repetition of playing rudiments is like a morning mediation, I feel more focused and alert afterward. I’m really keen on the idea of practicing creativity and exercising my talents everyday, no matter how small the act is. That, my friends, is a supreme objective I want to honour and aspire to.

Though I wasn’t drumming during my absence, I have been reading that Twyla Tharp book and jotting down quotes that really speak to my weak excuses and fears. For instance, in previous entries I spoke of how pertinent I thought it was to get into a regular habit of play before work took over my life. The trouble is, when you have too much time things inevitably get put off:

“No matter how limited your resources, they’re enough to get you started. Time, for example, is our most limited resource, but it is not the enemy of creativity that we think it is. The ticking clock is our friend if it gets us moving with urgency and passion. Give me a writer who thinks he has all the time in the world and I’ll show you a writer who never delivers.” (pg. 126, The Creative Habit)

Give me a drummer who thinks she has all the time in the world to practice and I’ll show you a drummer who never advances. Seriously.

Although the goals of this project are to successfully complete the work in Eric Starr’s Everything Drums Book, and to be versed enough in percussion to perform with other musicians, there’s a more basic mission that needs to be integrated into my plan: To effectively use my willpower and practice every day. So long as I don’t lose sight of that, my other ambitions and intentions will follow suit. The fact is, when you work hard at developing a skill the journey isn’t over when you achieve proficiency, you have to keep working at your craft in order to retain it. Rehearsal = life.

I was supposed to be well into Chapter Seven of Everything Drums, but I’ve only halfheartedly glanced at the pages. Being able to bounce and control the drum sticks are the dominant skills necessary to play double stroke roll rudiments. Once the stick hits the skin of the drum, the force of that motion should propel it to strike again without additional effort or finagling. I don’t think I’m there yet, though to be fair, I haven’t really tried; I’ve basically been rehashing what I already know from Chapter Six. Which brings me to another great lesson from Tharp’s book, which I’ll paraphrase: The best artists are the ones who try to improve upon on the things they haven’t mastered, and shelve what they excel at for later use. Confronting failure is ugly, so we find consolation in bettering what we’re already good at. That may build up our confidence temporarily, but in the end we’re just evading what challenges us most. Chances are that we’re going to have to confront those limitations at some point, so why not face the truth today?

“Without passion, all the skill in the world won’t life you above craft. Without skill, all the passion in the world will leave you eager but floundering. Combining the two is the essence of the creative life.” (pg. 173, The Creative Habit)